One Fine Day

Feb 6th is one of the most memorable days of my life. It is not my birthday, anniversary or my kids birthday.  This day is special as I accomplished something in my life. Now, did I get a promotion? No. Did I get a hike in my salary? not at all. Did my husband gift me a cruise trip to Bahamas? No, not yet…I am waiting for that one.  Did I win a lottery? No not that lucky. What did I do that big,  that Feb 6th 2013 is a special day of my life!.  My kid learnt to swim, float and jump in water independently. What!! You must be thinking I am some sort of nerd or something. I am a proud mom for her every single accomplishment, I think that is a very positive technique of raising a kid. But just swimming….. is that such a big of a deal!! Yes it is in this case. My kid had water phobia. She never could bathe in a bathtub full of water. We always used a mug or a hand shower. She would walk a around the block  if she ever came across a water sprinkler in the garden. Whenever my husband and I took her for swimming in our pool, she would scream and run away from pool, such that our neighbors asked  “Is everything okay with the girl”. We talked to our pediatrician about her fears. He asked if she had any bad experiences such as drowning which could have raised such fears in her. But after an analysis, he said this is very common, some kids get it genetically (Must be from my dad :)). Also, suggested us to not take her to pool again until she is comfortable in our bath tub. I tried to sit with her in our bath tub with water toys. She would scream and get her toys and me out of the tub as if we all were sinking and she is trying to rescue us. We tried at a few local swim schools. Didn’t work. The night before her swim class she would hide her swim suit, cap and swim glasses. I spent all my time looking up for her swim gears. But my husband and I were determined to help her face her fears. Then we enrolled her in a professional swim school, it has been almost an year now. We saw that she was getting better, at least she was getting comfortable in water. My kid is very brave, I am not saying this just because she is my daughter. But based on my un-biased analysis, she is brave to face darkness, she is not afraid of heights, she is not afraid of strangers, she is brave to manage people, make a place for herself  in a big atmosphere in between strangers. Then why was she afraid of water!

One fine day, Feb 6th 2013, after a friend’s surprise birthday party, my kid insisted on going for swimming along with our neighbor friends. I took her simply not to discourage her. Even if she just dipped herself and swim with barbel and noodles or some floats I’d be happy. But suddenly as if somebody pressed a switch, specially ON button…. or something triggered her or she got enlightened just like Buddha under the Bodhi tree, she started to swim . She swam about 5 feet by herself.  Started floating on her  back, flipped and swam  forward. She did NOT stop there started jumping in water which we have been trying since weeks. She totally stopped listening to what I was saying. Her reception was completely turned off and she repeatedly jumped in water, swim then float and flip and swim again. This was really an accomplishment given the challenges she had. I felt as if I faced my own fears. Her accomplishment was beyond my imagination. The key to her accomplishment is persistence, determination, and professional guidance. After this experience, what I have learnt is each person has her own strengths and weaknesses, passion and fear. If we want to work on our weaknesses or fear just be persistent in your attempts. Some fine day things will fall in your place and will feel like an accomplishment.

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Need Justification

When my parents demanded me to answer some of their questions I busted out, when my brothers questioned me about my whereabouts at school and college, it pissed me off, when somebody told me after marriage I am answerable to my husband and parent-in-laws I was mad and made it very clear I am answerable to myself and nobody. Then comes this little creature that shares my blood, my genes, my features, my views, my personality too, who demands and questions each and every step of my life. But this time I did NOT get mad at her, nor got upset about it. I figured it out, that is THE ONLY WAY to handle this little creature who I gave birth to and for all the sacrifices I have made to just have her. I realize it is time to make those sacrifices worth it.

Wondering what am I talking about!! My kid doesn’t understand the language must, should, have without a reasoning behind it. If she is shouting at the tip of her tongue, I got to tell her why she shouldn’t scream, if she has to go to school, I got to tell why she has to, if she has to eat food, she wants to know why she has to eat food, if we are celebrating Indian festivals, she wants to know why we do that, why I go to work, what do I do at work, why does her daddy has to travel a lot, why did we not have a Christmas tree, why are we vegetarians, where do we get money. It took a while for me to understand why I should explain her everything. I underestimated her, simply you cannot understand this yet, this is too complicated for you honey. But she was and is always clear. I don’t understand mommy please explain me why. She is going to be six soon and I realize justifying my act is THE ONLY WAY to handle my kid in a smooth way. I have other ways to handle her too, shouting, bossing, forcing her to do whatever I want. But I know it is NOT going to work for long.

And, asking for justification seems a fair deal.  Why would I do something without being told why should I do! If the six year old is asking for the same privileges, I think she deserves it. It took couple years for me to respect her request.  Honey here you go, your first request taken care. I will always give the justification for everything I demand you to do. You have the right to ask a justification.