Fair Share

On women’s day 2006, at my work place, Hyderabad, India we all girls, ladies, women gathered in at the convention center in a corporate office to celebrate the special day. The organizers initiated a conversation….. what are some of the challenges women face for power, note this question is mostly applicable for working women because for a home maker this was not an ideal question for a conservative society we have in India. Most women expressed the fair share issues like, I got to juggle at home and office alone, I get little help from my husband, my in-laws expect me to do everything, I have to take care of my kids alone though I am working full-time etc. Then a white women (from west) stood up and said, as a women we are equally responsible in deciding a fair share. Most women complain that her husband does not share work at home and outside, but how many ask their husbands to do chores, how many sit and talk about owning responsibilities in and around home and child care. That kind of triggered my thoughts too……. I agree, there are some jerks who need slave wives, but in 21st century there are men who understand and agree for a fair share of responsibilities given women express them.

The secret of successful marriages in the western world is the fair share. Husband and wife decide on sharing responsibilities way before the baby is born, rather way before the couples start trying for a baby. However, rate of successful marriages, so-called successful marriages is higher in the east than west. This calls for another post on this blog :). Back to the fair share discussion, a good example is a new mom and dad decide on who does what, after the baby has arrived, such as mom feeds for the obvious reasons which dad can’t do, and dad cleans the poop that happens usually after a feed. This is just not limited to parents but others too on a daily basis. Wife cooks and husband cleans or vice versa depending on who does or wants  to do what better. This is just something my husband and I have decided to have a fair share in the house-hold chores, I cook he cleans, that way we are happy in what we are doing. He hates to cook and I am a passionate cook. The bottom line is fair share. Fair share also plays an important role in finances. For whatever reasons a home maker tend to lose economical independence as she is not the bread-winner for the family. But, it is a home maker’s responsibility to make it clear to the husband that taking care of home and kids is a full-time 24/7, never-ending job and definitely, definitely she has the right to the finances to save and to spend.

How many women demand their spouses, partners or special someone about a fair share in finances, chores, parenting or anything in life that is meant to be shared?

 

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